Professor Barktholomew Wagtail, Esq.

The Barkhivist of the Pattern

Professor Barktholomew Wagtail, Esq. is the last living custodian of the Infinite Index—a metaphysical compendium where every story ever told still echoes. Once a humble library dog at Quackbridge University, Barktholomew was caught in a Patternstorm while chewing on a forbidden text and awakened to memory. Since then, he’s served as the Duckiverse’s most reliable source of sacred lore, Pattern history, and inconvenient truths. A living archive, a walking footnote, and a canine force against distortion, Barktholomew speaks rarely—but when he does, legends remember. Whether guiding younger heroes or banishing falsehoods with a bark, he is the keeper of what matters. And he never forgets.

He’s a mentor, a mythbuster, and a mild curmudgeon. But above all, Barktholomew is a steward of resonance—one who ensures the Pattern remembers what distortion tries to erase.

Catchphrases:

“Mind your metaphor, young duck.”
“History isn’t written—it’s remembered.”
“If you can’t back it up, don’t bark it out.”
“Every legend starts as a whisper.”
“Silence, please. The scroll is speaking.”

“A wise Saint Bernard in a candlelit study made of twisted tree roots and glowing scrolls,

PROFESSOR BARKTHOLOMEW WAGTAIL, Esq..

Class: Resonant Hero | Support Class | Elder Lorekeeper
Origin Story (Bio):

Barktholomew was once a sleepy library assistant at Quackbridge University, known for lounging on manuscripts and chasing ink sprites. But during a forbidden stormy night, he bit into a lost Scroll of Recursive Memory and was struck by the Lightning of Knowing. From that moment, Barktholomew began to remember—not just the past, but the deeper resonance behind it. He left the university, his monocle now glowing with insight, and became the first living creature to map the Pattern from within.

He’s been gathering lost lore ever since—sometimes with help from heroes, sometimes from the shadows.

🎯 Likes:

Ancient riddles that rhyme
Libraries with secret passageways
Scented parchment
Slow tea and slower arguments
Dogs who listen

🚫 Dislikes:

Historical revisionists
Loud chewing
When ducks say “literally” incorrectly
Books with missing endings
The phrase “it’s just a story”

🔥 Signature Moves:

Monocle Flash – Reveals lies or illusion when stared down.
Scrollstorm – Unleashes a swirl of living parchments that entangle and quote inconvenient truths at enemies.
The Footnote Smackdown – Uses a giant index card to knock sense into someone.
Lorebind – Temporarily traps an enemy in their own distorted narrative until they admit they were wrong.

Bonus Lore:

Barktholomew once faced off against Crispin the Clerk in a televised debate about economic history. The debate lasted eight hours and ended when Barktholomew summoned the original receipts. Literally. They rained down like snow and forced a 3-day government shutdown.

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