GOLDY
The Forgetter
Goldy doesn’t remember the last crisis—but she does remember bottomless mimosas. Swimming in circles inside his high-tech memory bowl, Goldy represents the voter who always means well, but never follows through.
She’s not evil. Shee just never learns.
Goldy believes in vibes, slogans, and “being fair to both sides.” She forgets the bills that were gutted, the rights that were stripped, and the people hurt last time. She thinks balance means flipping back and forth every few years—no matter the cost.
To her, every issue is too complicated. Every headline is exhausting. And every brunch is more important than history. She blames whatever party is in charge, even if they are fixing the other ones disaster.
She floats, votes, forgets, repeats.
The Pattern calls it distortion.
Goldy calls it Tuesday.
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Catchphrases:
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“I don’t do politics.”
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“I like to keep an open mind!”
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“Didn’t we fix that already?”
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“Wait… who’s president again?”
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“I just want things to be normal.”
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"Ya'll are overreacting, it'll be fine. Now pass the wine."
GOLDY
Distortion: The Distortion of no memory voters
Origin Story (Bio):
Goldy was once just a regular goldfish in a congressional intern’s office—blissfully unaware, lazily circling her plastic castle. But when the Pattern bent and the Spiral pulsed, she was granted the gift of sentience… and immediately forgot.
She emerged with a singular mission: to keep everything vague, foggy, and safe.
To preserve her comfort, even at the expense of everyone else’s memory.
Now armed with a floating hoverbowl and a podcast she never finishes, Goldy drifts across the Duckiverse spouting half-formed opinions and fogging up the clarity of truth.
Likes:
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Center-right think pieces
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Brunch
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Political yard signs
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Memory foam
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Clean aesthetics
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The illusion of choice
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Dislikes:
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“Identity politics”
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Being asked to care
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Sharp truths
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Protestors who ruin her weekends
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Long articles
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People who remember too much
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Signature Moves:
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Echo Spin – Confuses allies by repeating old headlines as if they’re new revelations.
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Both Sides Fog – Releases a mist that forces everyone to consider “all perspectives,” even the bad ones.
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Reset Bowl – Jumps into her bowl and forgets the last five events, dragging the timeline back to status quo.
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Approval Dip – Lowers the energy in any protest by expressing “disappointment with both sides.”
Bonus Lore:
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Once voted for the party that deregulated Goldfish Bowl pollution—then forgot. When confronted, she insists “they’re all the same anyway.”
🦅Vire's
Favorites:
​Residence:
A crystal-clear fishbowl in the center of a brunch café, perched on a faux-rustic reclaimed wood table. There's an “I Voted” sticker stuck to the outside.
Transportation:
Rolled around in a trendy stroller by “engaged citizens” once every four years—usually just to the polling place and back.